"The Hills": Spencer's One-Liner & My Hopes for the Season Finale (ScreenThug.Com)

"The Hills": Spencer's One-Liner & My Hopes for the Season Finale

This show is beyond addictive. Who would not want to live in Los Angeles and be supported by their parents, with the hardest decisions they have to make being what club they are going to go to that night and what they are going to wear. None of the characters are impoverished…Ok, let’s be honest, they are rich, or perhaps just come across that way and lack intelligence in any sense of the word. The only people on the show who seem to have any “real” class are Lauren and her Teen Vogue intern/friend Whitney. The others (Audrina, Jen, and Heidi) have no talent and, really the only thing going for them is their looks. You can tell that they are high maintenance and gossip more than a table of old women playing mahjong in Boca.

Heidi is the worst. She has an internship/job at a very successful company, Bolthouse Productions, where she really is just a gofer. I have only seen her at her desk picking her nails, reading gossip magazines,or on her cell phone. The worst thing is the way she walks. She sways her body back and forth so violently I am surprised she hasn’t dislocated her hips from the rest of her body. She is not a model, she is not walking on a runway, so why does she deem it necessary to walk like she is trying to shake a bee hive out of her pants. I don’t know whether to laugh at how ridiculous she looks or cry at the fact that she thinks it makes her appear sexy.

Let’s move on to Spencer. This guy is the spokesperson for total tools. His look, his voice, his attitude, and his sleezy pick up lines all say “Hey, look at me, I am Spencer, and I am not only a tool, but I am the whole tool box.” What is the most frustrating is how he seems to be successful at macking hotties in L.A (remember the episode where he was with the future Playboy playmates at Area). I don’t know whether I am bashing him out of actual disgust for him or the fact that, at some subconscious level, I wish I had the type of game he had to reel in the babes. He drives a sick BMW 6 Series coupe and is the manager for Brody Jenner, his famous-for-no-reason friend. If anyone remembers, Brody was on the reality TV show “Princes of Malibu,” which failed miserably. It can’t be too hard for Spencer to manage someone who doesn’t have a thriving career or a career at all. All Brody has working for him is his looks, which have landed him hotties like Laguna Beach gals Kristin Cavalari and Lauren, and also Nicole Richie (but I presume he has tapped many other recognizable girls but their flings just flew under the paparazzi radar). My feelings for Spencer are hard to describe because, for the majority of the time, I can’t stand to see him or hear his slow, slightly-slurred California drawl. As soon as I think I can’t dislike him anymore, he goes and pulls a one liner that completely redeems himself. Take this episode for example. I’ll set the scene as follows:
Heidi is in Spencer’s car in the alleyway outside of Bolthouse. Spencer is frustrated that Heidi hasn’t agreed to move in with him and wants an answer. Spencer uses the “I want to move our relationship to the next level” line to pressure Heidi and persuade her decision.

Heidi: “I’m sorry Spencer, I’m going to have to say no.”
Spencer: “Well then I’m going to have to say get out of my car.”
Heidi gets out and Spencer peels out of the parking lot.

I don’t know what was better; Spencer’s comment or the look Heidi gave him after he said it. At that moment, I viewed Spencer as my idol not as a scum bag but I am sure that I will go back to loathing him next episode. I hope in the season finale, one, a few, or all of the following occurs:

1) A cat fight between Lauren & Heidi ends with Lauren giving Heidi swirlies
in the bathroom, each time dunking her head saying, “This is for letting
Jen kiss Brody,” and “This is for dating Spencer who is a deuche bag,”
and “This is for leaving your used pregnancy test in the sink.”

2) Lauren and Spencer get into a verbal altercation which ends with
Spencer bitch slapping Lauren. As Spencer walks away, Lauren’s ex
from Laguna, Stephen Colletti, comes out of nowhere on his Huffy
bicycle and cracks Spencer over the head with his longboard.

3) Whitney gets the job working for Teen Vogue in NYC, pushing Emily
(the overachieving brown-nose NY intern) over the edge. Emily is
arrested for stalking Whitney and when her apartment is raided, the
police find the walls covered with baby pictures of Whitney and the
phrase “Laces Out!" written all over in red lipstick.

4) Audrina accepts a job she thinks is for a small role in a movie and is
excited for her big break into show business. However, once she goes to
the set, she realizes she will be acting in an amateur porno movie
entitled “In and Out in Beverly Hills.” Although hesitant at first, Audrina
realizes this could be good publicity for her and assumed that if she
didn’t tell anyone about this, no one would find out. Unfortunately, her
father was an avid customer of X-Flix, the Net-Flix of porn, and, after
reading the synposis of the film, added the movie to his “most
requested” list.

I can’t wait any longer and now going to watch the season finale, which again I must thank Mr. Tivo for recording. Let’s just hope that at least one of the four scenarios mentioned above actually happens…that would make me a fan of the show for life, guaranteed.

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"The Hills": Spencer's One-Liner & My Hopes for the Season Finale

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