After watching a "Pimp My Ride" marathon this weekend, this list seemed necessary. Below are the 5 basic types of people who are "officially pimped" by Xzibit.
Reaction to Xzibit Knocking on His Front Door:
Embarrasses himself with a thuggish handshake. To make up for it, he impresses Xzibit with words from his emergency slang dictionary. He then yells into the house, “Mom I’m leaving - - No he’s not a drug dealer.”
What He Will Use the Car For:
To cruise for babes on Sunset Boulevard while blasting Milli Vanilli from his “off the chain” sound system.
Reaction to Xzibit Knocking on His Front Door:
Covers his mouth with his left hand as he shouts “OHHHH” and “SNAP.” With his other hand, he flashes threatening gang signs.
What He Will Use the Car For:
To drive to gang meetings at his friend’s house. These usually end in a sweaty game of the original “Sonic the Hedgehog” on Sega Genesis.
“The Virgin”Type of Car: 1988 Daihatsu Hi-Jet What He Wants in His Car - An iBook computer - An ironing board - A leopard skin backseat (just in case). | ![]() |
What He Will Use the Car For:
To cruise for babes on Sunset Boulevard while blasting Milli Vanilli from his “off the chain” sound system.
“The Poser”Type of Car: 1991 Isuzu Pick-Up What He Wants in His Car - A Nintendo Virtual Boy - A stack of Hentai (Asian Cartoon Porn) - A glow stick dispenser | ![]() |
What He Will Use the Car For:
To drive to gang meetings at his friend’s house. These usually end in a sweaty game of the original “Sonic the Hedgehog” on Sega Genesis.
“The Fat Guy”Type of Car: 1984 Cadillac El Dorado What He Wants in His Car - A deep fryer |
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Reaction to Xzibit Knocking on His Front Door:
Rips off his shirt, revealing an abundance of fat rolls and stretch marks on his stomach. Proceeds to shock Xzibit with a dance rampage that ends with his disturbing rendition of “the worm” across the front lawn.
What He Will Use the Car For:
To open a hamburger stand out of the trunk of his car. This business will quickly fail after he eats all his inventory.
“The Mall Rat”Type of Car: 1990 Toyota Celica What She Wants in Her Car - Mirrors on the windshield - A “bake it yourself” Barbie oven - A walk-in closet |
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Reaction to Xzibit Knocking on Her Front Door:
“Why is there a black man on my porch….DAD, CALL THE COPS!”
What She Will Use the Car For:
Duhhhh…to go to the mall.
“The Clueless Guy”Type of Car 1977 Chevy Malibu What He Wants in His Car: - A 20’’ Monitor for Reading Rainbow reruns - Legos - Copy of Good Night Moon |
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Reaction to Xzibit Knocking on His Front Door:
Confused, he looks at the camera crew. “Are you going to bring my car back?”
What He Will Use the Car For:
Shelter, since he gets locked out of his house every night.
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