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"I Love NY": A Disgrace to the Entire State

I completely understand why "I Love NY" is such a popular show: drama, sexual tension, and a free lesson on how to speak ebonics. What else could anyone ask for?

“NY” (real name Tiffany Pollard) is a disgrace to the entire state that she calls home. She is hideous, but you can’t blame her completely, look at her gene pool. Her mother looks like Rupaul’s ugly twin sister. Factor in “NY’s” fake boobs and eyelashes, a foul mouth, and an overly dramatic persona, and you have a trashy black version of Janice Dickinson. I can’t be 100% sure, but I am almost positive I have seen “NY” in the porno movie “Big Bootie Bitches.”


I was just watching the second to last episode of the season, and so many parts cracked me up. First, the three remaining guys were so similar in their apearances: baggy jeans that are pulled down to their knees, overly large shirts, fake chain necklaces, doo-rags, and fitted baseball caps dangling from the side of their heads. I really wish there was more of a variety of contestants on the show. If the producers added a Jewish accountant wearing khakis and a v-neck sweater or an Indian mechanical engineer speaking broken English to the line-up of guys, the season finale might have ended differently. Instead, I am stuck trying to decipher any real words from the dialogue’s besides “dogg,” “bro,” “aw hell no,” and “showty.”

“NY” is an overly dramatic, ghetto, hoochy. She is literally a walking STD. You can’t go more than two minutes at a time without seeing her sucking face with one of the guys. I will go out on a limb here and assume that she was slutty before her days on VH1. There is even a rumor going around that, in high school, she was given the nickname “D-Breath,” as in D-I-C-K Breath. Not surprising at all. The woman is dirtier than a Tibetan prostitute.

Another part that is humorous is the way the guys express their emotions. Either they are yelling at each other “f—ck you, you dumb mutha f—cka, I’ll cut you” or weeping into each others arms, tears rolling down their cheeks, like they just lost one of their homies in a drive-by.

I don’t know what I am more excited about…that this season of "I Love NY" is over or that there is a new show on TLC called "Shalom in the Home." LECHAIM!

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