Welcome to ScreenThug.com, a new web blog that will be completely different from all the other sites out there in cyberspace. Screenthug.com is the beginning of a new revolution because here, I discuss, ridicule, and lambast all those TV shows that are so bad that they are actually good (you know...the shows people won't admit they watch but do so religiously). In addition, I also incorporate my thoughts on movies as well as other websites. You may be thinking "what makes this blog different from all the others?" The answer is simple. At ScreenThug.com, the shows I discuss are not really popular blog subjects (ie. Date My Mom, The Hills, The Girls Next Door, Dateline w/ Chris Hansen etc). The only time a primetime popular show will be discussed is when I deem it necessary to hand out a tongue lashing or point out particular flaws that I feel cannot go unmentioned.

Here at ScreenThug.com, our readers are most important. Sure I write about these shows because I think they are hilariously awful but, at the same time, I can't help but watch any time they are on TV. The producers of these programs must be doing something right in capturing a huge audience, but I feel it is my duty to actually say what everyone else is thinking and that is exactly what I am here to do. I hope everyone enjoys what they read here at screenthug.com and feel free to leave any comments or feedback you may have about any of the particular blogs or about the site in general. Thanks for your support and enjoy.

This show is beyond addictive. Who would not want to live in Los Angeles and be supported by their parents, with the hardest decisions they have to make being what club they are going to go to that night and what they are going to wear. None of the characters are impoverished…Ok, let’s be honest, they are rich, or perhaps just come across that way and lack intelligence in any sense of the word. The only people on the show who seem to have any “real” class are Lauren and her Teen Vogue intern/friend Whitney. The others (Audrina, Jen, and Heidi) have no talent and, really the only thing going for them is their looks. You can tell that they are high maintenance and gossip more than a table of old women playing mahjong in Boca.

It is 12:25 a.m. on Wednesday, and I have only now, two empty boxes of Kleenex and approximately two gallons of tears later, come to grips with my emotions regarding the dreadful season finale of The Hills. The whole week I was so excited to kick back on my couch and soak in thirty minutes of pure drama which I had prayed would include some sort of hair pulling, nail clawing, or make-up throwing to cap off another exciting season. What I got was an episode that was almost unbearable to watch and lacked any issues any typical good season finale would contain.

I was in bed flipping through the channels and landed on Dateline NBC’s “How to Catch a Predator With Chris Hansen” and although the topic is quite serious, I could not stop laughing at how ridiculous the conversations between Hansen and these perv's turned out

I will now describe a typical scenario that would typically take place (but with a little embellishment here and there)

I don't want to get my hopes up completely in case this is a false rumor because then I could easily fall into a deep depression and listen to Enya on repeat. Supposedly, as reported by several entertainment websites, Lauren, from The Hills and a grad of Laguna Beach, is featured in a sex tape with her ex-boyfriend/shit for brains, Jason Wahler.

Although I have pity for Lauren because this must be humiliating for her, I personally can't express enough joy. The countdown begins until it's release.

CNBC is a great channel for one reason…they show reruns of “guilty pleasure” programs, especially Deal or No Deal. I would venture to say that there is not one person in the United States who has not seen at least one episode. Ok, there may be a handful of individuals, most likely poor people who don’t own a TV, and have not experienced the beauty and genius of this show. I will sympathize with these non-viewers because it is assumed that they are trying to figure out how they will find the money to feed their family rather than about whether someone is going to win the million dollars.

I completely understand why "I Love NY" is such a popular show: drama, sexual tension, and a free lesson on how to speak ebonics. What else could anyone ask for?

“NY” (real name Tiffany Pollard) is a disgrace to the entire state that she calls home. She is hideous, but you can’t blame her completely, look at her gene pool. Her mother looks like Rupaul’s ugly twin sister. Factor in “NY’s” fake boobs and eyelashes, a foul mouth, and an overly dramatic persona, and you have a trashy black version of Janice Dickinson. I can’t be 100% sure, but I am almost positive I have seen “NY” in the porno movie “Big Bootie Bitches.”

After a night out and many drinks later, nothing could have looked as inviting as a couch in front of the TV, except for maybe Carmen Electra making me mac n’ cheese in the buff. What good shows could be on at 2:30 in the morning? The answer is…A LOT. So many options with so much time. This was a night purely dedicated to the art of channel surfing and I was not about to let this moment pass me by.

First stop…"Full House" on the ABC Family Channel. In this episode, Steve (DJ’s boyfriend) is applying to colleges. At this point, DJ and Steve have been dating for what seems like eternity, but there has not been any clear-cut evidence that they have slept together. I have seen them kiss, but come on, any guy who has been dating a girl for that long expects sex to be an integral part of the relationship. If DJ wasn’t putting out, don’t you think Steve would have kicked her to the curb by now? Since the show was rated “G,” perhaps the episode about them having sex is a “deleted extra” only available on the DVD box set. In that case, I’ll buy five.

Here's a quick rundown of what happened on 24 last night:

• President Palmer launched a fake nuclear air-strike, and aborted at the last minute…APRIL FOOLS!
• Milo was angry at Nadia for giving him blue balls.
• The President kept collapsing.
• Tom Lennox kept sweating.
• Fayed suffered the same fate as Saddam Hussein.
• Morris polished his head with windex.
• Audrey called Jack. She is still alive, but being held hostage by the ambassador from "Rush Hour."

Move over Emeril, there's a new cook in town! Merrill Howard Kalin has his own cooking show on public access TV. Here is one of our favorite episodes:

Wowie Kazowie!

On the outside are his tight, light black jeans with elastic belt, his multi-colored tank tops, his curly mullet, and his athletic physique. His facial expressions show off his dimples and his dance moves are on par with those of MC Hammer. Nevertheless, his life has been filled with highs and lows and his time at Bayside is just another stop on his train ride through life. This is the trial and tribulations of Albert Clifford “AC” Slater.

Before Bayside, A.C traveled around the world with his military father. He barely had enough time to make friends before he had to pick up his Reebok pumps and Bugle Boy clothes and move to a new destination. Once arriving at Bayside, he began to make friends with the rest of the crew, and took a special liking to Jessie “Big Bird” Spano. A.C. always felt like a failure to his dad, but shouldn’t have because of all his accomplishments like the time he beat Needik in the championship wrestling match, while simultaneously saving Screetch from getting his ass beat or when he intervened during Jessie’s addiction to sleeping pills. What about his miraculous drumming skills in “Zack Attack?” The list goes on. So what if he didn’t nail Kelly, he got Jessie, who probably had a kinky side herself. In the end, the only real feat he wanted to achieve was to please his father. Although he felt like he was a letdown, “preppy” and the rest of the gang were there to cheer him up and walk with him to the Bayside pep rally before their game against Valley.

It takes quite a plethora of smoothing talking and manipulating in order to manage a band, especially the biggest teenage band in all of California. It was truly unfortunate that Sly had to take so much grief from the attention-hungry group members, but no one remembers all the positive things he did. When Jenny, the lead pianist and vocalist, quit, he jumped in to rescue the group by replacing her with an Asian foreign exchange student who had the pipes resembling those of Paula Abdul, pre-American Idol. Also, it was Sly's managerial intuition that made him realize the band needed a lead guitarist, so he scouted out Jake Sommers, a bad-ass biker with a knack for winning over the ladies with his breath taking solos. His slickness with the ladies and love for motorcycles made me realize that he definitely was somehow related to Jesse Katsopolis. Everyone looked at Sly like some kind of parasite, who sucked the lives out of every person he came in contact with, but without him, 'California Dreams' would just be another band featured on VH1's "Behind the Music."

He is the reason that the 'Dreams' sold out Paradise Cove (the equivalent to The Max in "Saved by the Bell") night after night. Sure the audience was made up of local town drunks and day workers looking for a place to grab a cerveza, but it was still a gig. If there was one person on the show to honor, Sly would be it. I don't think there is anyone else who could carry a group of lackluster, lip-sinking teeny boppers from a practice studio in a garage to the bright lights of a crappy surfer hangout. We salute you Sly Winkle, and truly miss your boyish charm.